motivating our children – the nitty gritty

We were all children before we grew into adult. And as children, there were things we had expected from our parents that we never had. Some of these things are things that would have harmed us if we had access to them – yet, we did not understand. We most of the time feel rejected and dejected (i.e. having the feelings that our parents don’t care about us).

Do they really care? Even though I do not know them, I can stand for them to say they do care about you more than you ever imagined. Wouldn’t there be a way to make the children understand the reason behind our actions? This article will give you some tips to keeping your children motivated while guiding them through the right path of life.

(1) MAKING LOVE THE MOTIVE OF OUR ACTION TOWARDS OUR CHILDREN:

 I so much love the phrase Ziglar used to describe transfer aggression of any kind. He called it “kicking the cat”. Most parents in a bid to correct their children end up transferring work/career induced anger on their children. This action if continued for a long time will end up making the children/child loose all the humour, motivation and enthusiasm associated with childhood. Parents should always have it at the back of heir mind that they are training their children because of the love they have for them and not because of any law mandating them to bring them up as responsible members of the society (even though there are laws enforcing such in some countries.) Bring them up with love, care and support. Another thing I will quickly like to mention here is that

a little gift now and then (not every time so that it does not become an unhealthy culture) helps to show the child that you care and you never can tell how far this will take the child as far as motivation is concerned.

Small research that I carried out in my locality (Lagos, Nigeria) shows that children tend to be more energetic and happy around someone who always gives them gifts of any kind. There is this little boy in particular that is always moody whenever you see him. I took it upon myself to buy this boy gift twice in a week. Within four months of this act (I buying biscuit for him), I noticed that this little boys’ attitude did not only change towards me but also towards his peers.

(2) COMING DOWN TO THE LEVEL OF OUR CHILDREN AND MAKING THEIR OPINION COUNT (OR AT LEAST PRETENDING IT DOES COUNT):

Assuming the same level/status with your children makes it possible for parents to see things from the perspective of the child/children and when this is done well, the child will have every reason on earth to be motivated. A perfect way of coming down to the level of your children is to make their opinion count in virtually every thing (you may subtly discard their opinion later). This will make them have a sense of belonging and this in turn goes a long way in boosting their energy level which eventually translates into MOTIVATION. Other ways of coming down to the level of your children are:
(i)         sharing food with them,
(ii)        sharing the same bed with them at night,
(iii)       participating in some of their “stupid” games,
(iv)       Pretending you understand their language (especially when they are still Learning to talk)

(3) GIVING SINCERE AND OPEN APPRECIATION:

Research has shown that children are the most vulnerable set of people on this planet earth. They tend to live more on the immediate and this ultimately become a great determining factor in their future life. Flatter them if there is no genuine cause of open appreciation but, I bet there must always be cause to appreciate them. If you must flatter them, make sure it look so real that even you may get to the point of doubting the fact that it is all flattery.

(4) LEVERAGE ON OTHER PEOPLES’ MISTAKES:

In as much as it is not good trying to take advantage of other peoples’ situation, we need to let our children know what led to particular predicament of some people in our neighborhood. For example, telling them that this person is suffering today because, he/she failed to do “this or that” in the past.

(5) YOU CAN ALSO GET YOUR CHILDREN MOTIVATED BY MAKING THEM SEE THE FUTURE FOR THEMSELVES:

I am not saying that you should turn them into sorcerers and fortune-tellers, but, make them envisage what the future will look like.

Apply these simple techniques today and watch your children grow from one level of motivation to another. To your successful parenting!