Home of Motivation

Motivate you? No I cannot because is not my responsibility

chinweike — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 07:02:54 +0000

You may be surprised that this is coming from me. But that is the simple and honest truth. The best help you can ever get must come from YOU.

I remember the ugly expression on my friends’ face one afternoon when I told him I cannot motivate him (Am sure that is the kind of expression on your face when you first saw the title of this post). He told me a story of his problem with procrastination and demanded that I motivate him. I know someone will be saying at this point “but we all need someone to lean on”. Yes, I agree with you but, wait a minute before you go on.

Have you heard of the saying that you can only force the horse to the stream but cannot force the horse to drink? The horse only drinks when he feels like drinking (i.e. when thirsty). So it is with human persons and motivation. I can tell you all the inspiring and motivating stories in this world but will end up wasting your time and mine if you are not yet hungry for motivation.

You know how you actively search for food when you are hungry and the speed at which you descend on the food when you eventually find it. Now tell me will you be satisfied if you get to where the food is and still did not action on the food? You know the obvious answer, you have to take action (eat the food) before you get satisfaction. Being hungry for motivation is one thing and doing the things that will get you motivated is another thing altogether.

You can read the whole books on personal development and listen to the best motivating audio books and still remain where you are if that inertia in you is not killed. Yes, kill that inertia by putting into practice all what you know. Can you now see reason with me why I said I cannot motivate you? You are the only person that can motivate yourself into action. All every other person, including me can do is to help you find reason(s) to be happy and motivated. The rest lies in your hands. Just like the philosophers will say- your destiny lies in your own hands. It becomes whatever you choose to let it be. Get motivated, stay motivated and always take action that will make you explode with motivation. To your motivated life!

you can get free motivational ebooks from me by just by clicking here

Productivity, Efficiency and Effectiveness- 10 common deadly mistakes people make about them

chinweike — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 06:29:01 +0000

Productivity, efficiency and effectiveness are those three powerful terms that has played significant role towards bettering our society. People constantly refine processes and procedures just to be productive, efficient and effective.

Due to the importance of these three terms, a lot of mistakes, misconception and misunderstandings have prevailed to the extent that many lives that would have otherwise be productive have been condemned to mediocrity.

This article is not a typical ‘how-to’ stuff but, is written with the intention to point out some common mistakes that people make about productivity, efficiency and effectiveness so that you and your loved ones will not go on making same mistakes over and over again.

Below are the ten common deadly mistakes that you need to avoid so as to remain; productive, efficient and effective.

Using the wrong tools at the write time and vice-versa. You surely cannot expect miracle to happen when you make use of the wrong tools. Or can you browse the internet without the use of some right kind of device?

Going for cheap and inferior goods (products and services). Anybody who has knowledge of accounting will tell you that quality saves money and time. By simply investing in the right kind of product may be all that you need to achieve your target as far as productivity, efficiency and effectiveness are concerned.

Worrying too much. Valuable times are always wasted through worry. Stop worrying unnecessary today and see yourself living a fulfilled and enhanced life.

Too much or too little planning. As important as planning is, its extremes has to be avoided.

Falling victim to analysis paralysis. Analysis and planning have things in common. Do not waste too much time analyzing and yet invest enough time into your analysis. This is one area where people that are too educated get it all wrong.

Not giving before expecting. This is a natural law that cannot be avoided. For you to be; productive, efficient and effective, you need to give out some resources in place of them. It could be your money, time, etc.

Losing concentration. Avoid loosing concentration. A student who lost concentration in the examination hall cannot expect to come out in flying colours no matter how intellectually sound he or she may be. Same goes to all that we do in life.

Living in the false region of life. Avoid copying other people. Be the best at whom you are and at what you do. There is no way you can avoid living in the false region of life if all you do is copy other peoples’ way of life.

Dwelling in the wrong association. Evil association they say corrupt good manners. The simple act of mingling with un-productive people will have an adverse effect on you and your quest to be who you want to be.

Not reading good and quality books. Often time, you are what you read. Read good books that will help enhance your value. You can asses some quality books by visiting this link.

Is as simple as this, avoiding these ten pit fall will definitely make you a better you.

To your new found productive, efficient and effective life!

Perfect timing

chinweike — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 14:32:40 +0000

A bad workman always quarrels with his tools. People that have becomes failures in life always complain about the circumstances around them (that is what makes them failures). One thing they forget is that they are not the people in those circumstances. They spend all their lifetime waiting for the perfect timing before doing what they are suppose to do.

If you are among those that want to see everything in place before you take action; then listen to this bad news I have for you- that time will never come- what this means is that you are destined to live an unfulfilled life. Did I hear you say God forbid? Then why are you waiting for the perfect time?

You don’t have to sit down at home wishing and hoping that the traffic goes away before you set out for your journey, or do you?

I remember what a respectable member of my extended family said to my father when he was about sending me to the University. He said to my father “why don’t you wait until you save up enough money before sending your Son to school or do you want him to die of starvation?” It is obvious he said it with good intentions but, is that the right thing to do? Am sure NO is also your answer. But the fact is that many people dwell in zone, too bad.

Than God my father did not listen to him, for if he had done; only God knows what would have happened. May be I could still be successful but definitely not in the path am following now.

A lot of talents that would have helped this wonderful world of ours have been given to the already enriched graveyard and commentary for free because, many people wait for the perfect time that will never come. My dear highly valued friend, the only gift I can give to you in this New Year is to encourage you to start something. It doesn’t matter how small it is. It must not be perfect, just start it where you are.

There is this MTN Nigeria’s run-off line in one of there adverts that I enjoy so much- “go start something”. In that advert, two little girls started ‘play clapping’ and were joined by a large network of people within a twinkle of an eye. They didn’t wait to be in a perfect place where the whole world will see them before they started that play that eventually became a large network.

Do you intend to start up a business of your own, a new dieting program or whatever it is? Just start it and see yourself grow with it.

Get motivated and stay motivated so that you can start something where you are today. To your Success!

Do You Have “I” Problems

chinweike — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 16:05:17 +0000

Some days back while i was surfing the net, i stumbled upon this article that cought my attention. It really got me thinking and wondered how many people are in this kind of problem and decided to join the author in spreading the message. It is written by Fastfreta, my mentor at hubpages

Below is the article reproduced with permision from the author. Enjoy

Self-Centered Self-centered is defined as being egotistically concerned with self. So a self-centered person is one that is not concerned with another person’s feelings, ideas, points of view, etc, (even though narcissism is closely related to self centeredness, we won’t go so far as to put our characters in that category). I guess you can say a self-centered person has “I” problems. Let’s put this statement under a microscope in the next few situations

Is Life All About You?

Perhaps you’re involved with, or know someone whose every conversation begins with “I.” Maybe you are that person. Is it your habit to always focus on your own life and totally ignoring that of your listeners? Do you have to make your presence known with loud declarations? Do you walk in and join the largest crowd and instantly take over the conversation? You either use the occasion to promote your supposed grandiosity, impress with your knowledge, or to complain about your maladies, or slights, etc. At any rate, when you enter a room it becomes all about you. When you walk into a room, all eyes are on you, however, unknown to you not always in a good way.

Are you the mate, friend associate, family member, etc? Do you find yourself dreading being in the same room with them, either alone or in the company of others? Have you learned, without realizing it, to tune them out?

I’d like to go about this hub in one of my customary fashions, using my own invented characters. So let’s get started.

Situation One

Let’s begin with Bragging Bill. Family members are visiting from out of town. Bill comes over to visit his cousin, let’s call him Accommodating Adam, who is with his in-laws. Bill walks in, not knowing a single soul, except for Adam. After a few pleasantries, Bill begins bragging, I mean really bragging. Bill, in so many words, begins with, “I am a Stockbroker, (true), I’ve made millions, for myself and others, (um), I own a mansion near the Mayor’s home, I own a boat, I’m contemplating buying a plane, (ridiculous).” Poor Accommodating Adam, all eyes are focused on him, incredulous at the outlandish claims of his cousin. With every word coming out of Bill’s mouth, Adam is slinking lower and lower in his seat, blushing with embarrassment. When Bill leaves, the biggest laughs ensues. All of these claims, except for the Stockbroker claim, proved not to be true, and even at that he was not a very good one. Every subsequent encounter with Bragging Bill was the same, until he was unmasked. This was an actual event.

Now this was outright lying. But what if there is a grain of truth to what the person is saying.

Situation Two

The next few characters are contrived.

First we have Very Boastful Barbara. Now Barbara is very beautiful, highly intelligent, very successful, and believe it, she’s very aware of all of these attributes, and she makes sure everyone else is also aware of them. And we have Modest Millicent. Millicent is not “as well put together,” but equally successful. When Barbara enters a room all eyes focus on her, just the way she likes it. She never misses an opportunity to, as she puts it, “keep Millicent in her place.” Both work for a very successful Fortune 500 company. Each was hired for what they had in their heads, not for what they look like.

At the annual company awards dinner, both were given awards for the outstanding work done for the company. However, Barbara was given the top award. As both are surrounded by co-workers receiving congratulations, Barbara uses this occasion to make sure everyone knows that she’s the best. Millicent is just as happy for Barbara as everyone else, and lets her know it. That’s not good enough for Barbara.

Barbara begins her not so veiled put downs with, “you see Millie, being a visual society, let’s face it, physical appearances go a long way in this world, and that’s why I am number one, just kidding,(not). But anyway, I’m very conscious of my weight, thin is always in you know. Going to the best schools, not a state school makes all the difference. I make sure that I’m seen with the right people, that’s not hard for me to do, because I’m naturally a magnet for the who’s who. I always buy my clothes at Neimans, like this dress, it cost $500.00, and I only wear Prado shoes, see, all of these things make a difference. When I walk into a room all eyes are naturally on me, and for good reason, I know what it takes to make things happen for me.” Millicent says, “You know, you’re right Babs, (no one calls her that), and I’m happy for you.” As Barbara walks away certain that she’s kept Millicent in her place, and polished her own image, all onlookers shake their heads in disgust and, I might add, a tad bit of humor.

Situation Three

Next we have Bearing The Burden Bradley. Bradley, as he puts it, has to always carry the load of his whole family, his friends etc. Bradley, on one of his rants about how no one appreciates him for what he does, or have done for others, begins with. “I can’t believe it, after all I’ve done for this family, and my cousin’s sister-in-law’s sister didn’t even invite me to her son’s wedding. So what, I don’t know them, but I deserve to be at this wedding, after all when my cousin needed a ride to the store last year, who did she call, ME.” Mind you now, Bradley says no, more times than he says yes, when asked for a favor, but let him tell it he’s always there for everyone. “And my mother knows she should have spoken up, after all I do for her, after all when she needed her medication 3 months ago, who sent his son to pick it up, ME. Nobody appreciates me. Speaking of appreciation, my wife, asking for a new dress, I just bought her one last year, does she think I’m made of money, (actually he is, well to do that is). Let’s not even mention this country club, what’s this about donating money for the homeless, I already donated to that other charity, after all I’m one of the biggest contributors in this club.” One by one, all of Bradley’s listeners ease away, after all no one could get in a word edgewise.

Situation Four

We’ve already met Complaining Calvin (OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY…YEAH BUT). When Calvin enters a room an audible sigh is usually heard. Oh here goes. Patient Patty and a group of co-workers are discussing Battered Benjamin’s terrible accident. All are in agreement that after work they’ll pay a collective visit to him in the hospital. Calvin, overhearing this, chimes in with, “I don’t think I’ll be able to make it, my rash is particularly bad today, not to mention with this weather my arthritis is acting up, (he doesn’t have arthritis yet, just a bum knee, from an old childhood football injury, and he uses that to the max). And oh, did I mention I think I’m catching the flu. I woke up this mornings with the worst cough, (not heard yet by anyone). Did I tell you about the time I had the flu so bad that I took to my bed for three days and it was so bad,(just about a hundred times), that I wished that I was dead. It started with a flu shot, I guess it was a bad strain. Within minutes of taking the shot I wanted to die, and I had a temperature of over 103 Fahrenheit. I’ll never forget that, (neither will anyone else). And so on, and so on.

Just one more

What about, Know It All Ned. I’m not going to give Ned any dialogue, I’ll just tell you about him. He’s the guy that is never surprised about anything, he already knows it. You tell him about something you just heard or read about concerning this heretofore unknown ailment, and guess what, he already knows it. You even tell him about an ailment that you just found you had, and again, he, as he says, figured as much. But yet when he tells you something that he knows, you’re supposed to be surprised, and when you are, or acts surprised he makes you feel like an idiot, saying in his most incredulous tone, ” you didn’t know that.” Even in a group, no matter how many scenarios are presented, he already knows it. OH, so maddening!

Conclusion

Now if you find yourself in any of the situations above, and you wonder why no one stays around long when you enter a room or a conversation. Guess what folks, you’re not fun to be around, and more times than not you’re the fodder for jokes when you leave the conversation. But all is not lost, this can all change. What do you think should be your course of action? Um, could it be you need to examine yourself honestly, and possibly change the way you do things. Of course this sounds so simplistic, but aren’t some answers to what ails us is that, SIMPLE.

For instance, how about you, Know It All Ned, couldn’t you let someone else have the spotlight for once, can’t they know something you don’t know for once. Even if you do know it, let them bask in the spotlight for a change, after all they, like you have spent years acquiring knowledge. Can they, this once tell you a thing or two. I’m just saying.

What about you, Very Boastful Barbara, look around you, unfortunately for you, that is, beautiful, smart people come a dime a dozen nowadays. It’s true, must be something in the water, I see them everyday. So jump down off that horse and take a look around you, you’ll find that you’re not that special after all. Along with all that beauty and knowledge, acquire a little, character and humility. Again, just saying.

I won’t belabor this any longer, if you find yourself in any of these situations or even close, as Michael Jackson said, “take a look at the man in the mirror,” and ask him to change his ways.

I tell you what, give this new way a test the next time you’re tempted to perform in your same old way, and see what happens. At the very least you will be happier with yourself.

Get motivated, stay motivated and enjoy

Your worth is the cause

chinweike — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 00:26:37 +0000

You may have been under series attacks and persecutions and have been wondering what the cause may be.

You don’t have to worry yourself over that rather, you should be happy and thankful to God for making you what you are that makes people to get attracted at your success.

My father always tell me that “a barren tree does not attract stones”. What this means is that SUCCESSFUL people are bound to have enemies. If you are not been envied by some people, it then means you are WORTHLESS and should do something about it fast.

Tell me, have you ever seen any reasonable person envying a mad man? The simple answer is no.

Rather than spend your valuable time worrying over the series of attacks you get, spend that time solidifying your defense. One simple and sure way of solidifying your defense is to always look up to God.

Trust in Him with all your heart and always give Him thanks and praise. The singular act of giving God thanks and praise is enough reason for Him to bless you beyond your imagination.

Very many people have not yet discovered the secret behind thanksgiving – to these set of people, I say; try it and see for yourself what you have been missing.

Next time that the feeling of worrisome tries coming in, just remind yourself that your big worth is the cause of the seeming challenging attacks that come your wayand give thanks to God for His abundant blessings.

Get motivated, stay motivated and find cause to glorify the name of The Lord and watch Him embarrass you the more. To your worthy life!

New Year pledge

chinweike — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 02:20:12 +0000

I have come to realise that a lot of people fail to keep to their New Year resolution simply because of complex nature of most New Year resolutions. To this end, I want to share with you the simple method that I use to remain motivated and focused all year long.

I call it ‘SAY’ method. All you need to do is say NO to series of things and say YES to series of things. Finish!

Are you ready? Ok, here we go:

SAY NO TO…….

FAILURE, HATRED, PROCRASTINATION, STRESS, ADDICTION, MISERY, WICKEDNESS, WAR, UNFAITHFULNESS, INGRATITUDE, ABUSES, KILLING, INDECISION, LAZINESS, ANGER, ALCOHOLISM, UN-FORGIVENESS, BACKWARDNESS, CONFUSION, NEGATIVE JEALOUSLY, LACK, ETC

You can add the ones you want to add. And

SAY YES TO…….

VICTORY, FREEDOM, ABUNDANCE, GOOD HEALTH, GOOD RELATIONSHIP, SUCCESS, PEACE, FAITHFULNESS, THANKSGIVING, LOVE, HOLINESS, ARMS GIVING, LEARNING, COURAGE, MOTIVATION, INSPIRATION, HAPPINESS, FORGIVENESS, HUMILITY, INNOVATION, CLARITY OF PURPOSE, APPRECIATION, UNDERSTANDING, WISDOM, WEALTH, ETC

You can also add the ones you want to add at this point.

If you can recite all the above words – especially the positive ones on a daily basis or regular interval fine, but, if you cannot, just select the ones that apply more to your situation and do it at least once a week and see your situation change for good.

What this will do for you is to awaken the ‘inner monitor’ in you that will always remind you not to do those things you said No to and to always do those things you said YES to.

Do this faithfully and come back here to testify before this year runs out.

To the success of your New Year pledge! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Love- what colour is it?

chinweike — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 00:36:46 +0000

Once upon a time, colours converged at a certain square to wrestle for supremacy; this is to put an end to the long time argument over which colour is more important. Red said “I am more important because I represent LOVE; Blue said “I am more important because I am more soothing to the eyes. White cried out in a loud voice and said “without peace, you all are gone, I represent peace. While they were about to commence the wrestling, rain came and washed them all together. To their surprise, they formed a more beautiful colour which is called ‘the true’ colour of love. Wow! They all said, do we would have killed ourselves over what does not belong to us.

What is the true colour of love and success? As far as true love and success is concerned, ‘product(s) of togetherness is the colour’. My knowledge of systems made me to understand that there is no such thing as ‘closed system’ as most people will say. Even if there is, they don’t survive. No man is an island on its‘own. We are all the product of the ‘togetherness of many variables’. We are more productive when we share our ideas, thoughts, inspiration, fears, pain, etc.

Major achievements and breakthroughs always come as a result of co-operation and not competition. The colours in our short story were forcefully forced to co-operate by the art of nature ‘rain’. Who will force us human person to co-operate? The only thing that will force us to co-operate is the desire to achieve. If you want to be significant in life, learn to engage in productive cooperation and positive co-operation. You can borrow a leaf from team players in sport.

Together, we will all make it, for united we stand, divided we fall. Killing ourselves for supremacy will do us no good. Remember that are all equal in the eyes of our creator.

To the success of our coming together!

22 Surefire ways to be HAPPY and live almost forever

chinweike — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 05:58:38 +0000

How many of us know that we can greatly extend our life span simply by becoming happy? Am sure all of you know. Ok! How many of you know how to be happy? I bet not all of you. So in this article are (22) twenty tested ways to be happy and live almost FOREVER!

Surround yourself with happy. The first positive step to take is to surround yourself with success and happiness. Happiness and success are the most contagious thing I have ever seen. Start with it and see it work for you.
Be a book-keeper of blessings. When something bad happens to you, try not to focus on it. Instead, take a minute to count your blessings and record it. Everyone has good things in their lives, whether it is health or loved ones or whatever.
Show some Gratitude. Along those lines, it is a good practice to have a daily gratitude session. Think about what you have to be thankful for, and silently thank those who have done something good for you in some way. If you have time, take the time to call them or email them to thank them.
Think of solutions. Instead of thinking about problems, move to the next step: how to solve it. When someone says to me, “Oh, this is so hard,” or “Oh, I can’t seem to do this,” or “Man, we don’t have any more of that,” I just ask them, “Well, what’s the solution?” If you develop solution-oriented thinking, you’ll be much happier.
Network with others. As much as possible, spend time with those you love, and with others who you enjoy. It could be a simple phone call, or a short visit. Or take a day with the person or people you’d like to spend time with. Have a conversation, do things together, be intimate.
Accept things. We are often unaware of it, but we usually want things or people or ourselves to change. And that’s a sure way to lead to unhappiness, because we cannot control the world. We have to accept things as they are, try to understand them, even love them. Including and most especially ourselves: accept who you are, allow yourself to be yourself, try to understand and love yourself. Then do the same with the others in your life.
Be a master time manger. Instead of rushing from one thing to another, resolve to have less to do each day, less appointments and fewer tasks. Then do each thing slowly, with mindfulness and ease, and try to be present in the moment. And truly enjoy whatever it is you do, from talking to eating to walking to just sitting.
Appreciate yourself. Take a few minutes each day to give yourself a little treat, whether that’s something like chocolate or berries, or a bubble bath, or walking barefoot in the grass, or even calling me on phone. LOL! It can be anything. Nothing is too big or small.
Volunteer to help the needy. When you give to others, whether that’s money or the stuff you no longer need or your time and love, you become happier. It’s true. Take 5 minutes today to call a charity and volunteer to donate some time sometime this month. It will make a big difference in your life.

10. Follow your passions. If you do what you love to do, especially for a living, you will be extremely happy. This is one of the best things you can do. If it seems impossible, don’t give up. Others have done it and you can too.

11. Look at your achievements. Instead of looking at what you haven’t done, or what you’ve failed at, think about what you have done. Many times that’s much more than we realize.

12. Know your worth. You deserve happiness. That simple statement is actually profound for many people, as they don’t believe they really deserve to be happy. It’s often unconscious. If you feel that within yourself, you need to first realize that you deserve happiness. Repeat it if necessary.

13. Have a goal. Too many goals will lead to ineffectiveness. Try to choose one goal and really focus on it. And work to accomplish it. Goals lead to happiness, if you make progress on them.

14. Get inspired. Take time to read good blogs like this or books or magazine articles about success stories related to what you want to do. It will get you energized.

15. Celebrate. When you do something right, when you accomplish something, when you feel like it, reward yourself. Celebrate. Have fun, and pat yourself on the back.

16. Do the things you love. Make room in your life by eliminating some of the commitments you don’t really like doing, and replacing them with something you truly love.

17. Show some love. Each day, try to be kind to others in little ways, opening doors, smiling, giving up your place in line.

18. Exercise. Just a short walk or run could lift your spirits and reduce stress. Nothing difficult. Just get outside and move.

19. Avoid Jealousy. You loss a pint of your life span for every moment you spend being ‘negatively’ jealous of others.

20. Be a Learner. It’s strange how many of us are afraid to try new things, or admit we don’t know something. But learning new skills or new information is one of the most fun things there is to do. Give it a try.

21. Take some natural outing. Nothing soothes the mind like nature. Go and watch a sunrise or sunset. Watch the waterfall, admire the blue cloud during the day and the stars at night, and Watch animals. Watch people. Watch children. And be inspired by it all. In fact, admire nature.

22. Laugh more. Do not kill yourself over trivial issues that can easily be overcome by laughing.

Motivation, can it be found in a noisy place?

chinweike — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 01:56:42 +0000

Heard melodies are sweet, but unheard melodies are sweeter. Laughter has healing power, but gentle smile has more healing power. Beautiful sights soothe the eyes, but it cannot be compared to that beautiful picture(s) in our mind’s eyes. External motivation helps but cannot be compared to the joy that comes from that small still voice that inspires confidence in us from within.

I can go on and on making these comparisons but I will have to stop and face the business which is to answer the BIG question- MOTIVATION, can it be found in a noisy place?

Before I go on answering this question, I would like to develop a working definition of the term noise for this particular article. Noise for this purpose is seen as all unwanted distractions/sound. This could be emotional, spiritual or physical.

One simple test will assist the both of us (you and I) focus our mind towards a direction where we can find our answer to this question. Have you been to a disco hall before? Sure, I bet you have.

Now try remembering one thing that your mind was able to get in that hall as a result of concentration. Apart from the memories you had being in that party hall, what else can you remember. I can bet my fortune that you hardly remember anything even the memories.

What we just finished talking about is the physical aspect of noise. Oh! Did I say only physical? Please pardon me for that. Noise is; physical, spiritual and emotional. Let’s take that scenario further.

Can you pray to God in a disco hall or even have some emotional feelings such as sober reflection in a disco hall? Chances are that these things are possible but not on regular occasion.

Now let’s turn our attention to motivation. What is Motivation? I do not know how you see it but in my own dictionary, motivation simply means “inner self assurance that is associated with emotions such as love” I can hear somebody trying to make a point out there that “Anger and hatred are equally emotion. Yes, I agree but they are rather destructive emotions.

I think is right for me at this point to give my candid opinion. Motivation has not and can never be found in a noisy place. This is not only based on my personal conviction but, on the experience I have had while counseling people in my country Nigeria.

My humble advice to you today before I drop my pen is to get rid of those unwanted sounds that pre-occupy your minds and making it impossible for you to be motivated as we ought to be.

Get motivated, stay motivated and enjoy all the good things of life!

Wedding vs. Marriage

chinweike — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 18:26:52 +0000

What are you struggling for? Are you struggling preparing for your wedding or marriage? I know a guy that spent about Six Million Naira (N 6,000,000.00) on his wedding only to divorce his wife eight months down the line. Shee! What a wedding?

I can bet you also know or have heard of somebody who also tolled this same path. What could be responsible for all these break-ups in marriages today after a successful wedding? Ok! I now understand. Successful wedding is not synonymous to success in marriage. For a marriage to be successful, certain ingredients must not be found wanting

What then are the ingredients of successful marriage? Below are some of the tested and trusted ways of having a successful marriage.

PREPAREDNESS: (spiritually, emotionally, mentally, financially and psychologically). One of the reasons we have so many frustrating marriages today is the fact that many people spend valuable time and money pursuing shadow rather than the real stuff. They prepare so much for wedding ‘which’ is just a days’ occasion and forget to prepare for marriage which is going to be a lifetime affair. We fail to prepare ourselves spiritually, mentally, emotionally, psychologically and financially before venturing into marriage. You can save yourself a lot of head and heart ache by simply spending sometime to get yourself ready for the marriage proper and not only the wedding.

MARRYING FOR LOVE. There is no surer way of leading a happy married life than to base your marriage on love. Love surpasses all the stress of marriage. I have two posts earlier that extensively talked about suppressing the down-time of marriages- titled Marriage part 1 and Marriage part 2.

FAITHFULNESS, RELIABILITY AND COMPATIBILITY: As obvious as this may be, many people still expect to make miracles out of their marriages without first of all ensuring that these vital ingredients are in place. – What a pity! If you are not faithful, reliable and compatible with your partner, forget about successful marriage. The good news however is that all these can be acquired or learned over time.

I encourage you today to get motivated and stay motivated so that you can prepare for marriage and not wedding. To your successful marriage my dear!