New Year pledge

I have come to realise that a lot of people fail to keep to their New Year resolution simply because of complex nature of most New Year resolutions. To this end, I want to share with you the simple method that I use to remain motivated and focused all year long.

I call it ‘SAY’ method. All you need to do is say NO to series of things and say YES to series of things. Finish!

Are you ready? Ok, here we go:

SAY NO TO…….

FAILURE, HATRED, PROCRASTINATION, STRESS, ADDICTION, MISERY, WICKEDNESS, WAR, UNFAITHFULNESS, INGRATITUDE, ABUSES, KILLING, INDECISION, LAZINESS, ANGER, ALCOHOLISM, UN-FORGIVENESS, BACKWARDNESS, CONFUSION, NEGATIVE JEALOUSLY, LACK, ETC

You can add the ones you want to add. And

SAY YES TO…….

VICTORY, FREEDOM, ABUNDANCE, GOOD HEALTH, GOOD RELATIONSHIP, SUCCESS, PEACE, FAITHFULNESS, THANKSGIVING, LOVE, HOLINESS, ARMS GIVING, LEARNING, COURAGE, MOTIVATION, INSPIRATION, HAPPINESS, FORGIVENESS, HUMILITY, INNOVATION, CLARITY OF PURPOSE, APPRECIATION, UNDERSTANDING, WISDOM, WEALTH, ETC

You can also add the ones you want to add at this point.

If you can recite all the above words – especially the positive ones on a daily basis or regular interval fine, but, if you cannot, just select the ones that apply more to your situation and do it at least once a week and see your situation change for good.

What this will do for you is to awaken the ‘inner monitor’ in you that will always remind you not to do those things you said No to and to always do those things you said YES to.

Do this faithfully and come back here to testify before this year runs out.

To the success of your New Year pledge! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Love- what colour is it?

Once upon a time, colours converged at a certain square to wrestle for supremacy; this is to put an end to the long time argument over which colour is more important. Red said “I am more important because I represent LOVE; Blue said “I am more important because I am more soothing to the eyes. White cried out in a loud voice and said “without peace, you all are gone, I represent peace. While they were about to commence the wrestling, rain came and washed them all together. To their surprise, they formed a more beautiful colour which is called ‘the true’ colour of love. Wow! They all said, do we would have killed ourselves over what does not belong to us.

What is the true colour of love and success? As far as true love and success is concerned, ‘product(s) of togetherness is the colour’. My knowledge of systems made me to understand that there is no such thing as ‘closed system’ as most people will say. Even if there is, they don’t survive. No man is an island on its‘own. We are all the product of the ‘togetherness of many variables’. We are more productive when we share our ideas, thoughts, inspiration, fears, pain, etc.

Major achievements and breakthroughs always come as a result of co-operation and not competition. The colours in our short story were forcefully forced to co-operate by the art of nature ‘rain’. Who will force us human person to co-operate? The only thing that will force us to co-operate is the desire to achieve. If you want to be significant in life, learn to engage in productive cooperation and positive co-operation. You can borrow a leaf from team players in sport.

Together, we will all make it, for united we stand, divided we fall. Killing ourselves for supremacy will do us no good. Remember that are all equal in the eyes of our creator.

To the success of our coming together!

22 Surefire ways to be HAPPY and live almost forever

How many of us know that we can greatly extend our life span simply by becoming happy? Am sure all of you know. Ok! How many of you know how to be happy? I bet not all of you. So in this article are (22) twenty tested ways to be happy and live almost FOREVER!

  1. Surround yourself with happy. The first positive step to take is to surround yourself with success and happiness. Happiness and success are the most contagious thing I have ever seen. Start with it and see it work for you.
  2. Be a book-keeper of blessings. When something bad happens to you, try not to focus on it. Instead, take a minute to count your blessings and record it. Everyone has good things in their lives, whether it is health or loved ones or whatever.
  3. Show some Gratitude. Along those lines, it is a good practice to have a daily gratitude session. Think about what you have to be thankful for, and silently thank those who have done something good for you in some way. If you have time, take the time to call them or email them to thank them.
  4. Think of solutions. Instead of thinking about problems, move to the next step: how to solve it. When someone says to me, “Oh, this is so hard,” or “Oh, I can’t seem to do this,” or “Man, we don’t have any more of that,” I just ask them, “Well, what’s the solution?” If you develop solution-oriented thinking, you’ll be much happier.
  5. Network with others. As much as possible, spend time with those you love, and with others who you enjoy. It could be a simple phone call, or a short visit. Or take a day with the person or people you’d like to spend time with. Have a conversation, do things together, be intimate.
  6. Accept things. We are often unaware of it, but we usually want things or people or ourselves to change. And that’s a sure way to lead to unhappiness, because we cannot control the world. We have to accept things as they are, try to understand them, even love them. Including and most especially ourselves: accept who you are, allow yourself to be yourself, try to understand and love yourself. Then do the same with the others in your life.
  7. Be a master time manger. Instead of rushing from one thing to another, resolve to have less to do each day, less appointments and fewer tasks. Then do each thing slowly, with mindfulness and ease, and try to be present in the moment. And truly enjoy whatever it is you do, from talking to eating to walking to just sitting.
  8. Appreciate yourself. Take a few minutes each day to give yourself a little treat, whether that’s something like chocolate or berries, or a bubble bath, or walking barefoot in the grass, or even calling me on phone. LOL! It can be anything. Nothing is too big or small.
  9. Volunteer to help the needy. When you give to others, whether that’s money or the stuff you no longer need or your time and love, you become happier. It’s true. Take 5 minutes today to call a charity and volunteer to donate some time sometime this month. It will make a big difference in your life.

10.  Follow your passions. If you do what you love to do, especially for a living, you will be extremely happy. This is one of the best things you can do. If it seems impossible, don’t give up. Others have done it and you can too.

11.  Look at your achievements. Instead of looking at what you haven’t done, or what you’ve failed at, think about what you have done. Many times that’s much more than we realize.

12.  Know your worth. You deserve happiness. That simple statement is actually profound for many people, as they don’t believe they really deserve to be happy. It’s often unconscious. If you feel that within yourself, you need to first realize that you deserve happiness. Repeat it if necessary.

13.  Have a goal. Too many goals will lead to ineffectiveness. Try to choose one goal and really focus on it. And work to accomplish it. Goals lead to happiness, if you make progress on them.

14.  Get inspired. Take time to read good blogs like this or books or magazine articles about success stories related to what you want to do. It will get you energized.

15.  Celebrate. When you do something right, when you accomplish something, when you feel like it, reward yourself. Celebrate. Have fun, and pat yourself on the back.

16.  Do the things you love. Make room in your life by eliminating some of the commitments you don’t really like doing, and replacing them with something you truly love.

17.  Show some love. Each day, try to be kind to others in little ways, opening doors, smiling, giving up your place in line.

18.  Exercise. Just a short walk or run could lift your spirits and reduce stress. Nothing difficult. Just get outside and move.

19.  Avoid Jealousy. You loss a pint of your life span for every moment you spend being ‘negatively’ jealous of others.

20.  Be a Learner. It’s strange how many of us are afraid to try new things, or admit we don’t know something. But learning new skills or new information is one of the most fun things there is to do. Give it a try.

21.  Take some natural outing. Nothing soothes the mind like nature. Go and watch a sunrise or sunset. Watch the waterfall, admire the blue cloud during the day and the stars at night, and Watch animals. Watch people. Watch children. And be inspired by it all. In fact, admire nature.

22.  Laugh more. Do not kill yourself over trivial issues that can easily be overcome by laughing.

Motivation, can it be found in a noisy place?

Heard melodies are sweet, but unheard melodies are sweeter. Laughter has healing power, but gentle smile has more healing power. Beautiful sights soothe the eyes, but it cannot be compared to that beautiful picture(s) in our mind’s eyes. External motivation helps but cannot be compared to the joy that comes from that small still voice that inspires confidence in us from within.

I can go on and on making these comparisons but I will have to stop and face the business which is to answer the BIG question- MOTIVATION, can it be found in a noisy place?

Before I go on answering this question, I would like to develop a working definition of the term noise for this particular article. Noise for this purpose is seen as all unwanted distractions/sound. This could be emotional, spiritual or physical.

One simple test will assist the both of us (you and I) focus our mind towards a direction where we can find our answer to this question. Have you been to a disco hall before? Sure, I bet you have.

Now try remembering one thing that your mind was able to get in that hall as a result of concentration. Apart from the memories you had being in that party hall, what else can you remember. I can bet my fortune that you hardly remember anything even the memories.

What we just finished talking about is the physical aspect of noise. Oh! Did I say only physical? Please pardon me for that. Noise is; physical, spiritual and emotional. Let’s take that scenario further.

Can you pray to God in a disco hall or even have some emotional feelings such as sober reflection in a disco hall? Chances are that these things are possible but not on regular occasion.

Now let’s turn our attention to motivation. What is Motivation? I do not know how you see it but in my own dictionary, motivation simply means “inner self assurance that is associated with emotions such as love” I can hear somebody trying to make a point out there that “Anger and hatred are equally emotion. Yes, I agree but they are rather destructive emotions.

I think is right for me at this point to give my candid opinion. Motivation has not and can never be found in a noisy place. This is not only based on my personal conviction but, on the experience I have had while counseling people in my country Nigeria.

My humble advice to you today before I drop my pen is to get rid of those unwanted sounds that pre-occupy your minds and making it impossible for you to be motivated as we ought to be.

Get motivated, stay motivated and enjoy all the good things of life!

Wedding vs. Marriage

 What are you struggling for? Are you struggling preparing for your wedding or marriage? I know a guy that spent about Six Million Naira (N 6,000,000.00) on his wedding only to divorce his wife eight months down the line. Shee! What a wedding?

I can bet you also know or have heard of somebody who also tolled this same path. What could be responsible for all these break-ups in marriages today after a successful wedding? Ok! I now understand. Successful wedding is not synonymous to success in marriage. For a marriage to be successful, certain ingredients must not be found wanting

What then are the ingredients of successful marriage? Below are some of the tested and trusted ways of having a successful marriage.

PREPAREDNESS: (spiritually, emotionally, mentally, financially and psychologically). One of the reasons we have so many frustrating marriages today is the fact that many people spend valuable time and money pursuing shadow rather than the real stuff. They prepare so much for wedding ‘which’ is just a days’ occasion and forget to prepare for marriage which is going to be a lifetime affair. We fail to prepare ourselves spiritually, mentally, emotionally, psychologically and financially before venturing into marriage. You can save yourself a lot of head and heart ache by simply spending sometime to get yourself ready for the marriage proper and not only the wedding.

MARRYING FOR LOVE. There is no surer way of leading a happy married life than to base your marriage on love. Love surpasses all the stress of marriage. I have two posts earlier that extensively talked about suppressing the down-time of marriages- titled Marriage part 1 and Marriage part 2.

FAITHFULNESS, RELIABILITY AND COMPATIBILITY: As obvious as this may be, many people still expect to make miracles out of their marriages without first of all ensuring that these vital ingredients are in place. – What a pity! If you are not faithful, reliable and compatible with your partner, forget about successful marriage. The good news however is that all these can be acquired or learned over time.

I encourage you today to get motivated and stay motivated so that you can prepare for marriage and not wedding. To your successful marriage my dear!

Office motivation is ……

Office motivation is one aspect of personal development that a lot of people have seriously neglected or at best misunderstand. They tend to think that it makes no difference whether they are motivated in the office or not.

One probable cause of this is the ‘what is in it for me attitude’ they feel they are just working for their boss or the company that employ them.

Unknown to them is the fact that they indirectly benefit themselves by being motivated in the office as they would be at home.

In my research, I have come to understand that people (employees) don’t really understand what office motivation really means. If they do, they wouldn’t have been behaving in the manner that they behave.

This will now lead us to ask the question, what is office motivation? I will use couple of clauses and phrases to explain what office motivation is and then go ahead to bring out the hidden treasure that has eluded so many people by the simple fact that they followed the crowd in the wrong direction.

  • Office motivation is being at your best at all time. It doesn’t matter what the circumstances may be.
  • Office motivation is having the spirit to do beyond the value attached to you by your employer. That is, delivering more service than you are paid to deliver.
  • Office motivation is protecting the interest of the company that pays your bills. A lot of workers slaughter the IMAGE/BRAND of their company by the simple act of not being motivated in the office.
  • Office motivation is respecting the customers at all time. You will agree with me that customers are always ‘kings’. Do not transfer the aggression from other office activities to the customers.
  • Office motivation is advancing yourself so that you will add more value to your company. When you spend some resource to gain more knowledge, you will not only add value to your company but, to yourself. This is so because you leave with your knowledge bank whenever you are leaving the company.
  • Office motivation is being punctual to work. This is a sign of commitment that often translate into bottom line.

Now let me quickly point out what office motivation is not.

  • Office motivation is not being unproductive. A depressed and unmotivated person will always prove to be the least productive person in a team.
  • Office motivation is not keeping malice with your fellow workers. A house that is divided against it-self cannot stand. Keeping malice is counter productive and is not the spirit of office motivation.
  • Office motivation is not justifying your reason for stealing your company’s assets. In the triangle of fraud, they will tell you that for a fraud to take place, motive/intention, opportunity and rationalization must be present. Trying to rationalize your ill-action in the office is not office motivation.
  • Office motivation is not being stale because you are dissatisfied with the role assigned to you in the office. It is very dangerous for one to be like stagnant water- you know that stagnant water smells.
  • Office motivation is not avoiding your colleague or superior because they always reprimand you whenever you do something wrong. This is the one sure super high way to unproductive and unmotivated office life.
  • Office motivation is not destroying your company’s property just to show your grievances- just like MELISSA did (this person is among the people that first created computer virus) they did it to express their grievances. But, that is the wrong way of doing it.

The list of what office motivation and what is not is not exhaustive. The list can go on and on. My intention in this article is not to give you a comprehensive list of what office motivation is and what is not.

Rather, my intention is to give you a push and you then figure out the rest by yourself. I keep saying this; nobody can motivate you if you do not motivate yourself.

What people around you can do is to give you a push. Is just like when you are hungry and someone serves you food, the person can even go ahead to spoon feed you but, it still requires some effort one your own part.

That little effort is the main thing that made you get result from the intention of the provider of the resource. So it is with office motivation, you have to put in your own effort to be motivated in the office, no matter how little it may be.

My last word for you is to; get motivated, stay motivated and enjoy all the good things of life- including goodies that comes from office motivation.

To your motivated office life!

Pre-marital sex- 10 deadly lies about it

 

It has come to my notice that a lot of youngsters go into pre-marital sex for the fear of the unknown. Our parents have failed in one of their primary duties – giving their children sound education (sex education inclusive) In the course of my numerous casual counseling, I found out that many people go into pre-marital sex because of the spread of lies formulated by evil opportunists and dream-takers/killers.

They invent all kinds of lies to lure innocent youngsters into pre-marital sex that is not only unsafe disease wise but is also defamatory to our soul and body which is the temple of God. Below are ten of those lies that has misled so many.

I won’t bother wasting your time with long stories. Rather, I will use bulleted points to list the lies.

  • You will not be handsome or beautiful.
  • You can’t conceive when you eventually get married.
  • Pimples (Acne) will disfigure you if you don’t ‘DE-CONJI’ yourself through sex.
  • You will have dull brain
  • You will be having painful menstrual period.
  • You can’t satisfy your partner sexually when you finally get married because you have not been practicing it (sex)
  • You are prone to develop hormonal imbalance.
  • Nobody (opposite sex) will love you
  • You don’t know wat’z up
  • Happiness will elude you

These are all lies formulated by some people to take advantage of the naïve-ness of some people. If you are yet to be deceived by these lies, be warned. And if you have fallen victim, nothing have spoilt yet. All you need do is have a change of mind and stop dwelling under the influence of lies.

Get motivated today, stay motivated and escape all the ugly lies of the enemy- including pre-marital sex lies.