motivating our children – the nitty gritty

We were all children before we grew into adult. And as children, there were things we had expected from our parents that we never had. Some of these things are things that would have harmed us if we had access to them – yet, we did not understand. We most of the time feel rejected and dejected (i.e. having the feelings that our parents don’t care about us).

Do they really care? Even though I do not know them, I can stand for them to say they do care about you more than you ever imagined. Wouldn’t there be a way to make the children understand the reason behind our actions? This article will give you some tips to keeping your children motivated while guiding them through the right path of life.

(1) MAKING LOVE THE MOTIVE OF OUR ACTION TOWARDS OUR CHILDREN:

 I so much love the phrase Ziglar used to describe transfer aggression of any kind. He called it “kicking the cat”. Most parents in a bid to correct their children end up transferring work/career induced anger on their children. This action if continued for a long time will end up making the children/child loose all the humour, motivation and enthusiasm associated with childhood. Parents should always have it at the back of heir mind that they are training their children because of the love they have for them and not because of any law mandating them to bring them up as responsible members of the society (even though there are laws enforcing such in some countries.) Bring them up with love, care and support. Another thing I will quickly like to mention here is that

a little gift now and then (not every time so that it does not become an unhealthy culture) helps to show the child that you care and you never can tell how far this will take the child as far as motivation is concerned.

Small research that I carried out in my locality (Lagos, Nigeria) shows that children tend to be more energetic and happy around someone who always gives them gifts of any kind. There is this little boy in particular that is always moody whenever you see him. I took it upon myself to buy this boy gift twice in a week. Within four months of this act (I buying biscuit for him), I noticed that this little boys’ attitude did not only change towards me but also towards his peers.

(2) COMING DOWN TO THE LEVEL OF OUR CHILDREN AND MAKING THEIR OPINION COUNT (OR AT LEAST PRETENDING IT DOES COUNT):

Assuming the same level/status with your children makes it possible for parents to see things from the perspective of the child/children and when this is done well, the child will have every reason on earth to be motivated. A perfect way of coming down to the level of your children is to make their opinion count in virtually every thing (you may subtly discard their opinion later). This will make them have a sense of belonging and this in turn goes a long way in boosting their energy level which eventually translates into MOTIVATION. Other ways of coming down to the level of your children are:
(i)         sharing food with them,
(ii)        sharing the same bed with them at night,
(iii)       participating in some of their “stupid” games,
(iv)       Pretending you understand their language (especially when they are still Learning to talk)

(3) GIVING SINCERE AND OPEN APPRECIATION:

Research has shown that children are the most vulnerable set of people on this planet earth. They tend to live more on the immediate and this ultimately become a great determining factor in their future life. Flatter them if there is no genuine cause of open appreciation but, I bet there must always be cause to appreciate them. If you must flatter them, make sure it look so real that even you may get to the point of doubting the fact that it is all flattery.

(4) LEVERAGE ON OTHER PEOPLES’ MISTAKES:

In as much as it is not good trying to take advantage of other peoples’ situation, we need to let our children know what led to particular predicament of some people in our neighborhood. For example, telling them that this person is suffering today because, he/she failed to do “this or that” in the past.

(5) YOU CAN ALSO GET YOUR CHILDREN MOTIVATED BY MAKING THEM SEE THE FUTURE FOR THEMSELVES:

I am not saying that you should turn them into sorcerers and fortune-tellers, but, make them envisage what the future will look like.

Apply these simple techniques today and watch your children grow from one level of motivation to another. To your successful parenting!

 

 

 

 

 

Taking life the musicians’ way- arguably the best way to tackle life’s challenges.

Have you ever imagined what this world of ours will look like if everybody should take this life like a stage? On stage, you will try to put in your best. And if by chance you don’t know it yet, let me tell you now- “NO AMOUNT OF OBSTACLE OR LIFE CHALLENGE CAN SURVIVE THE HEAT WHEN YOU PUT IN YOUR BEST.”

Watch musicians on stage performing and you will discover what I am talking about. Most musicians on stage force themselves into a mood that will portray the theme of their music. And you know it really works for them. Some force fears out of their own eyes just to put their audience in a sober mood, or cry along with them if possible.

Now, apply this musician’s technique to life’s challenges and see if it will not obey. Do you know that “the worst thing that can ever happen is that the worst happens?” aha! I have got you thinking already.

The worst thing that can happen is that your finance collapse along with the economic meltdown, the worst thing is not that you will die along your finance or develop heart attack just because your finances are no more.

One of my mentors always tells me that 99.9% of the things we worry ourselves over never happen. Take life the musicians’ way. Many musicians have loads of problems at home before coming on stage. But that wouldn’t stop them from putting in their best on stage. They see life from the perspective of children. Children are also like musicians.

You will see a child playing even while their home/house is on fire. In most cases, the parents or guidance may die of heart related disease while the child still lives on and grow into adult. The problem is that they quickly loose that childhood way of life and follow us, too bad!

Research has proved that musicians are among the happiest people. The simple reason behind this is that they always assume they are on stage. And while on stage, they always forget their problems. This assumed stage life later transforms into reality in their life.

All I have to tell you as a patting word is that you Get Motivated the musicians’ way, Stay Motivated and enjoy all the good things of life including those that money cannot buy.

Complacency- a sure invitation to stress and trouble.

‘Stillness’ is the greatest enemy of development. One of my mentors; Barr. Nestor-Barth Okeke, Dean, Faculty of Management Science, Anambra State University, Anambra State Nigeria will always tell us back them in school that “..You stop being a graduate the day you stop learning”. Many people seem not to understand this; they feel comfortable with the little achievement they get in life, thereby creating a comfort zone.

This comfort zone breeds complacency that eventually breeds “stress and trouble”. What we call failure today was once highly referred to as success. In this our new age (internet age), what is current today quickly become outdated in few weeks. It amazes me at the speed at which my anti-virus software on my system quickly become outdated if I don’t connect my system to the super-high-way of information (internet) for only a period of one week.

This is equally appreciable in the life we live, we quickly become obsolete if we don’t upgrade ourselves just like the softwares. While the softwares are updated with codes, we human beings are being updated with knowledge via the super-high-way of learning. Statistics has shown that people who fail to keep themselves in constant contact with knowledge bank are more prone to get into trouble that will inadvertently lead to stress and stress diseases.

Complacency is one word that every success minded individual should try and remove from their dictionary. There is a saying “pride goes before downfall”. The untold story in this saying is that downfall comes with all of its descendants which includes; stress, stroke, high blood pressure, cancer, kidney and liver problem etc. if all these are the descendants of downfall, then complacency is their grandparent- making it more dangerous.

The simple way to avoid complacency is to make motivation your strong hold. A motivated fellow never stops being excited of what to do; they never have a dull moment in their life. And they are the juice and Honey of this life we are living. So why don’t you join them today by simply getting motivated, staying motivated and enjoying all the good things of life- including a trouble and stress free life. To your trouble and stress free life!

Ways to find out when stress is about setting in

 

Symptoms of stress vary from Individual-to-Individual, Nation-to-Nation, Race-to-Race, etc. However these variations might be, there are signs or symptoms that will forewarn you of a possible breakdown due to stress. The symptoms listed here are not exhaustive, below are the most common symptoms of stress.

 

  • Getting tired easily. When you notice that your energy level has reduced, take an inward look to ascertain the actual cause of this latest development. If you notice there is no verifiable evidence, it could then be a sign of avoidable stress. Quickly act by consulting your physician.
  • Constant headache. Headaches are generally caused by physical and environmental stress.
  • Excess alcohol intake. Alcohol on its own might not cause stress, but when you take too much of it, could signal danger. On the average, man by nature will always want to find solace whenever things are perceived not to be moving according to plan. When you find your self indulging in certain things, always do yourself good by seeking professional advice.
  • Forgetfulness. Though we are all prone to forget things, but when it becomes excessive, watch out for other symptoms before you conclude.
  • Worrying or being fearful. Normal human persons don’t worry so much to the extent that they fear even the air around them. When you begin to worry a lot, examine yourself to make sure you are not taking the wrong step.
  • Anxiety and nervousness. These are surefire signs that stress is setting in, if not already there. Anger is the next thing that follows these two- and you know the destructive nature of anger.
  • Lost of appetite. Though ordinary sickness can make one loose appetite, but when other symptoms of other sickness are not present, it is probably a sign of being stressed.
  • Temperamental and Irritability. Little anger here and there are part of normal living but too much of it is a sing of stress.

All hope is not lost when you notice these signs; the key is learning how to manage stress effectively. Coping with stress is like lifting weights. To be successful, a weight lifter must prepare properly beforehand. He lifts the weights correctly and avoids lifting too much weight. If he takes such steps, he builds strong muscles without damaging his body. Permit me at this point to introduce to you an expert in stress management; she is a woman that has dedicated all her life trying to help people come out of stress. Her name is SUSAN; you can meet her at http://www.abc-stress.com/. In the meantime, Get Motivated, stay Motivated and enjoy all the good things of life.

Signpost to success, motivation and happiness – yet a failure.

 

I get infuriated when I see people living the life of a signpost. They show people the way to success and yet remain; unsuccessful, unmotivated and unhappy. They are “action-LESS” people, yet full of words that influence the life of others in no small way.

I even get more vexed when I compare the life style that the so-called ‘PASTORS’ of our time lead. Most of them live exactly the opposite of what they preach on the pulpit day-in-day-out.

Now, I want you to carry out this little exercise with me. Breath-in, hold it for 8 seconds and then breathe-out. The reason why I said you should do this is that you might tell me the truth. Are you ready to tell me the truth? Ok! Are you living the life of a signpost?

Hay! Hold it there. Don’t be in a hurry to read further. Take out five minutes to answer this question before proceeding. If you answered NO to the above question, thumbs-up for you, and keep it up, and if your answer is YES, keep reading because no hope is lost at all. The next few bulleted paragraphs you will be reading next will be loaded with tips that can pull you out of such ‘hypocritical’ situation.

 

  • Acceptance and Honesty. Being honest with your self and accepting that you have a problem is the key to any self development therapy. Remember that honesty is the best policy.
  • Openness and willingness. One thing is to be honest with yourself that you have problem, another thing is to have an open mind. Prepare your mind to accept whatever help that is in form of input. Be willing to share your problem with trusted people around you.
  • Zeal and Desire. Every remarkable achievement in ones life starts with zeal and desire for it. Desire success, motivation and happiness and see your self transformed over night into a doer.
  • Seek divine grace and help. It is a well known fact that the spiritual often controls a physical. Always have it at the back of your mind that on our own, we can do nothing- but with God, we can do all things. Paul puts it right by saying. “…I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…” Note that he didn’t say some things. Seek Him today and you will be glad you did.
  • Discover yourself. What is it that you are good at? Answering this question will not pose a big problem if you had actively sought the face of God. It is possible that you have all the while been in the wrong kind of business/vocation/career/profession/trade etc, and this has chiefly been responsible for your ‘action-less’ life. A simple rule of thumb is to do those things that always make you happy.
  • Get a mentor. Before or after crossing the above hurdles, try and get yourself a mentor. What this person will be doing for you will include keeping you in check so that you don’t derail along the line. If you are sure you are tired of living a life of signpost, and then go the NIKE way, JUST DO IT! Just get motivated, stay motivated and enjoy all the good things of life- including success and happiness. To your victory party!

Inner beauty

Beauty they say “lies in the eyes of the beholder.” Beauty means different thing to different people. But whatever it may mean to you, one thing is definitely sure- it soothes your ‘mind’s eyes’ and is pleasant to you at all time.

Inner beauties are those feelings that make you whom you are. They are those virtues that you pursue every day and night (knowingly or unknowingly). The quest for inner beauty is what makes you extend those kind gestures towards your fellow human person. Inner beauties are those things that get you attracted to something else- it could be object or human beings.

It is evident that the whole world is in one way or the other clamouring for this inner beauty. Inner beauty is that soothing relieve that you get deep down in your heart when you help someone else come out of a difficult situation that would have otherwise taken the persons’ life or render him/her useless.

Permit me at this point to say that inner beauty simply means inner peace- the essence of our existence. If all the above is true, it then means that inner peace/ beauty is a must have ingredient of life. That means we can do anything to protect it (inner peace/ beauty). If we can do anything to protect it, then why can’t we forgive someone that wronged us? Why can’t we collectively say NO to evil vises? Why can’t we always do good? (Even though doing good is a relative term, there is a standard).

If inner peace/ beauty is as important as we have all agreed, why can’t there be a stop to armed robbery, Killing, War, Kidnapping etc?

As far as I know, there is only one source of inner peace/ beauty and that is; JESUS CHRIST of Nazareth, the one who died on the cross of Calvary for us all to have inner peace in abundant. Lets all embrace him in truth and in spirit.

If you want to embrace Him, then join me in one voice and in one accord so that we can all make this world a better place, a place where we will all clamour for. Please feel free to add your contribution on how to achieve this inner peace that we all long for by commenting on this post.

In the meantime, Get Motivated, Stay Motivated and Enjoy all the good things that comes with inner beauty – including long and healthy life. To your peace of mind and that of all!